Heading to London for a trade show on a Saturday night and so decided to go the night before as the trains were cheaper and I don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn to get there for the Sunday show. So booked me on the 18:35 to Kensington Olympia.
Got on the train and the carriage was empty, it just reminded me of the scene from Luther on the top deck of the bus. I made my reservation for the quiet carriage so I could do some work on my laptop on the way there and back. I didn’t mean THIS quiet.
Cut to 15 minutes later and enter a group of 6 very loud and very p1ssed girls in their early 20’s. Staggering into the quiet carriage, as loud as you like and shouting and balling at each other. As they made their way down the carriage we got the first rendition of “Happy Birthday” on top note (all be it a flat note). They were on the phones doing FaceTime with Donna (who clearly had missed out on a cracking day) and snapchats on full volume, it was like the party carriage. 5 minutes in and it was time for the second rendition of "Happy Birthday". The birthday girl it would appear, was called Emma (it was shouted often enough). I think her surname should of been Roids cos she was a right pain in the arse. People across from me rolled their eyes and you could tell everyone hated the fact that this lot had come into this carriage. In true British style though, nobody said a word apart from the occasional tut to themselves lol.
Within 15 minutes they were literally at each others throats. The would-be party had descended into a 2am, outside a nightclub style slanging match. “I’m not having it, yer a nasty b1tch, you said my daughter was annoying”. “Well she F*cking is”!! Next news one of em was getting off at the next stop, the birthday girl was going to one of the others houses, not to get ready anymore but, as she so eloquently put it ”to get her stuff and F*ck off home”. Emma, she'd had enough, Gob job (the loudest one) wasn't a proper friend anyway or she wouldn't slag off her daughter. Gob Job didn't care she was going out on the razz whether the birthday girl was going with her or not. "Yer not spoiling my night, I'm not even p1ssed yet". I beg to differ love. Next thing Gob Job was off to the toilet, wobbling from left to right banging into all the seats on the way down.
The conductor made several announcements to explain that coach A was the quiet coach and if you want to speak loudly or use your phone there were plenty of seats in other areas of the train. Unfortunately, they were arguing so loud they couldn’t even hear the announcement lol.
Thankfully they all got off at Stoke on Trent and peace was once again restored. I spent the rest of the journey sorting out a spreadsheet of data that I need to manipulate into the right format to import into our CRM system.
After arriving at Euston it was onto the next leg of my journey and another train, apparently known as an "overground", who knew? It was kinda like the same layout as a tube train so no facing forward or backward seats, just seats around the edged facing in and then lots of standing room. This train wasn't as eventful but equally as interesting for people watching. There was a young couple making out to my right, a guy bopping along to whatever was playing in his headphones and a woman to my left who at first sight looked to be talking to herself. Turn out she had them apple earbuds in but you couldn't see them as she had quite a funky afro going on that covered her ears. She was looking straight at the two young girls facing her as if she was talking to them. It was only when she finished the call and held her phone up to disconnect it that it became apparent.
And that's the end of my journey to that there London.
IN OTHER NEWS - the back of my head is absolutely itching to hell. It's the part where they took the donor hair follicles to transplant. Each of the holes is obviously healing and itching like mad.
Checked into my hotel now and I'm off to sleep. G'night !
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