I was awake at 7am this morning, despite the late night so got up and started some more washing. Did a quick clean around the house and put Ian the ihoover to work upstairs while I focussed on downstairs. It's handy having an extra pair of hands around the place.
Today has been a pretty sad day for me and I've cried quite a bit. I think the realization that I am going to have to say goodbye to Bonnie has finally hit me. I've been trying to put on a brave face and think that it's something that's inevitable as none of us are getting out of this life alive. She hasn't eaten at all today and I had to make the phone call to a lady (Katja) who comes to your house to make your pet comfortable before putting them to sleep. I would much rather say goodbye to her at home in her own bed with Bella here too so that Bella knows (if that's even possible for her to understand she's gone etc.) I just don't want Bell to be all confused if I just take Bonnie to the vet and then she never comes back. I'm not sure how much dogs understand etc but I want to be sensitive to her too. Bonnie just looks so sad and is frail cos her stomach is so swollen yet her legs and shoulders etc are really skinny. I could just keep getting the vet to try and up her meds etc and prolong everything for my own selfishness just so I don't have to say goodbye but I don't think that is fair on Bonnie as she is clearly unhappy if she is refusing to eat anything. I don't want to just watch her deteriorate day by day and get worse and worse.
She spent the whole night in her bed and I had to carry her upstairs when we went to bed :-(
Hopefully, Katja will give me a call tomorrow morning and I can try and make arrangements for her to come to the house. As sad as I will be I have to put Bonnie first and not be selfishly want to keep her around just for my benefit. During the night she wet the bed again, luckily I have a double-folded towel on the bed and a mattress protector. Unfortunately, though she has soaked the duvet so I had to strip the bed in the night and will have to try and find a laundrette to wash and dry the duvet. I can't be mad at her though as she can't help it. I just cajoled her downstairs to go out for another wee while I sorted the bed.
In other news, I have another 2-day chocolate taste testing tomorrow and Tuesday and taking my mum and Gillian with me as they needed more people age between 55-70. It's £40 for the two sessions (about 30 mins each) and I love chocolate so win/win. More money for my Trip Jar.
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