Another day waking up hangover free, despite having drank from around midday yesterday. This morning we decided to go all tourist and put out towels down on the sun-beds on the way to breakfast. Seems everybody does it so thought what the hell. Eddie s now able to get online on his phone so peace has been restored to the world. :-)
Breakfast this morning just had an omelette as I don't want to get into the habit of over eating as I wouldn't have a 3 course breakfast at home so start here? Also having looked at myself in the mirror this morning and realising (not for the first time) that I now look like the guy who ate Neil, I think I need to curb the eating any shite that comes my way.
We went down to the pool to sunbathe and no sooner had we got comfy when Rio, one of the entertainment guys came to try and get us to sign up for some of the activities. I said no to darts as that was starting straight away and I hadn't even done the daily ritual of slapping the factor 20 on yet. I instead agreed to do the crazy golf game in about an hours time. Eddie was asleep in minutes so might as well be doing something other then getting fidgety on the sun-bed.
Eddie's usual position..
Hitting any type of ball with any shaped stick had never really come naturally to me, so needless to say there was no trophy's won by this sportsman. After doing the awards ceremony, which consisted of the top 3 players getting into the middle of the rest of us in a circle and doing a kind of Hokey Cokey holding hands and rushing into the middle, I went to the bar.
You had to hit a tennis ball through one of these holes to get the highest score. My score....Zero ;-)
Dominic was sat reading his book near the bar on his own so I chatted to him for a while and then by the time I got back to Eddie it was time for food round 2 - Lunch. You can see why people come back a lot heavier from this kind of holiday, all you seem to do is eat, drink and sleep with very little strenuous exercise to burn off the calorie input.
I decided to aim to finish my Gary Barlow biography while I was away since I bought it on the way out to Istanbul in December and haven't touched it since. I don't know why but for some reason I don't seem to have the urge to read at home. Challenge on I am gonna read every day by the pool. A lot of the book is about Gary's struggle with his weight and his ongoing battle with food. I can definitely relate and want to start cooking more when I get home and trying to eat less processed stuff that's loaded with sugar and bad stuff. Don't hold yer breath though :-/
After a good sunbathing session we headed up to the room for a siesta (I loves me a good sleep in the afternoon on holiday). yet it's something I cant manage to do at home, I usually have something I need to be doing. Fatima had made the beds but forgot to leave clean towels. Eddie was straight on the phone, he doesn't stand for no messin lol. After a few hours kip it was time to get showered and dressed for round 3 - Dinner.
Clearly I had caught the sun a bit as I could feel it when I got in the shower. Now when you go on holiday there is always the 'Sunburn Salsa' you have to do in the shower, where you have to dance about a bit and keep adjusting the water cos it feels mad hot where you have burnt yourself. Couple this with the fact that the shower has its own unique routine, the shower samba, you set the temperature and then it proceeds to go through it's own 60 second cycle - 20 seconds just nice followed by 20 seconds boiling hot then 20 seconds freezing cold. Then the cycle starts again which makes for a full-on choreographed shower dance routine. You had to time the shampoo and conditioner into all this so you don't try and rinse during one of the hot or cold 20 seconds. I could probably master any routine on strictly after a week of this. Eddie clearly hadn't found his rhythm as I can usually hear his shower punctuated with yelps and screams at regular intervals lol.
After Strictly shower dancing we headed down for some dinner and then up to the Entertainment lounge. If last night wasn't bad, tonights was even worse. Rio sat with us again at dinner and kept saying it was Surprise Cabaret tonight, which clearly meant they hadn't got anything planned up to this point. We went up a bit earlier so that we could get a seat, and saved one for Dom and Georgia. we sat through the last 10 minutes of the kids disco and then it was time for the surprise cabaret, which they had named 'Miss disco'.
They got 5 female volunteers up on stage and a 6th one who was a guy we had named Donald Trump due to his bright yellow hair, who decided to throw a wig and frock on to enter the competition (he must have been here last week and seen it first time around). In the first round each contestant had to sing a song with an ice cube in their mouth, I'm sure Simon Cowell was already signing up this format for the next season of Xfactor. In the next round, all of the contestants had to peel and chop an onion one at a time and be timed to see who was the fastest, this had us on the edge of our seats. Next round was an adult game of musical chairs, absolute genius :-/ The final round the remaining 3 contestants had to go and collect as many shoes from the audience as possible, we could hardly contain ourselves. The grand finale was counting the shoes each contestant had brought back, at this point people were being carried out on stretchers. They had started having fits brought on by too much laughter, the place was in hysterics. This entire thing was dragged out for 2 hours. We've booked to come back next year just on the strength of Miss disco alone.
Tonight's outfits as featured on the cover of vogue...
Disclaimer, in the interest of full disclosure, I sucked my body in a bit on facetune on my colour pic cos I forgot to breathe in lol.
After drinking several litres of gin and tonic and I'm sure I would probably still pass the UK drink driving limit, I went to the bar and asked for 2 neat gins, no tonic. The barman didn't know where to turn. Fortunately, they must have prepared for such an eventuality and he reached for an unopened bottle of gin from the back of the bar. Poured 2 shots in 2 plastic cups and I was on my way. That was more like it, neat paint stripper without the water. I then used one of my watered-down ones as a mixer. I know what to do next time. Everyone in the hotel says the same, you can drink all day and could probably still operate machinery and perform open-heart surgery. Well they don't actually say that but it's implied lol.
My sides still splitting from the night's entertainment I decided to call it a night around 11:30. Oh I'll sleep tonight with all that frivolity ;-)
Comments