Preface:
Firstly I just wanted to preface this post. I usually type my blog the next day but I am behind so this is actually being typed on Monday. So I am typing this with the knowledge of things that have happened since and have probably calmed down etc. I will still voice my thoughts and feelings as they were at the time, even though they may not be that way now (hope that makes sense lol). I sometimes censor my blog and don't always put some of my feelings down, for the sake of other people. But I have decided that this is my blog and for my mental health etc to get stuff out of my head to process, so going forward from today, it will be the unedited version of what's happened, etc and if that included other people and they don't like what I have to say, then so be it. So from this point on as I once said at the front of one of my diaries if you don't want to know what I really think just after an argument then might be best not to read from this point onwards. This will make more sense further on.
Also, most feelings are temporary and is usually just how I feel at that moment and will probably pass. But in order for my blog to be of benefit to me I need to be honest with my feeling and not gloss over stuff as if everything is perfect otherwise I. am not giving myself the chance to process things. I rarely fall out with someone long-term as I like to say what needs to be said and then move on. Even with ex's I can't do the whole never speaking again thing. Once the initial gurt is over I just find it harder to remember never to speak to someone and easier to just be over it and be civil. Out of all the friends I have ever made I may have drifted apart from some but I've never fallen out to the extent that I wouldn't speak to them if I saw them again. With the exception of one person (from very recently) who I will definitely not have anything to do with again because they are manipulative and use people for their own ends then move on.
As you were:
Woke up early and went to my appointment at Holdroyd garage to look at getting a new car as my lease is up middle of July so I need to sort out another car. Dropped Kirsty off in town so she could get her phone fixed as all her screen is smashed.
It only actually took 30 minutes and I was signed up and it was ordered. It helped that I sort of already knew what I wanted so I'm getting a red, Hyaundi Touscon but it won't be ready until maybe November/December time. He did say though that my current lease company would probably just let me go onto a rolling 30-day contract until mine is ready so I left a message for someone to call me back about it.
Got back from a car appointment and Kirsty wasn't back so me and Layla (I know the correct grammar is Layla and I but that's not how I speak - Sorry grammar police) went for a walk around the nature reserve and then grabbed some lunch. Had a pretty chilled day watching a few movies as it was a naff weather day and a bit overcast so it was just nice to just relax.
Kirsty still wasn't back by 5pm so we decided to order an Indian to be delivered for tea later. My mum said if she has gone out with money in her pocket and been out all day she would no doubt have been to the pub, Great! She eventually rang at about 6pm and said she was on her way home so we added her food to the order. We ordered the food at 6:30pm and it had arrived and been dished out before Kirsty got back at 7:30pm. It was obvious she was half cut by the time she got home and she did her usual thing then where she couldn't settle and was in and out of other rooms on the phone, which I knew meant she would b making plans to go out.
Kirsty, snapped a few times which I knew meant she was already past the point of being a nice drunk and would just be looking for arguments. Eventually, at 9:30pm she announced that she was 'off out' leaving her friend Layla behind, which was just RUDE! As she left I said, not to bother coming back as I knew that if she was already pissed she would be even worse when she came home and I wasn't dealing with it. I'm not gonna lie I was fuming and it just brought back to me all the bad times I've had with Kirsty and made me want to reconsider letting her stay with me. It's taken years for us to get a good bond and get along and if her staying with me is going to ruin all that then I'm in two minds now.
Luckily I do consider Layla my friend now too as I really get along with her and love her energy etc so it wasn't a problem or awkward I just felt bad for her. She doesn't drink or feel the need to go to the pub etc so is probably. good influence on Kirsty when she's around her.
I was determined not to let it ruin our night and just said to Layla to not worry cos whoever she was meeting (probably Mo) she would just end up staying at theirs. either way, she wouldn't be sleeping on a park bench or anything cos she always has someone she can ring to crash at theirs.
Midnight came and we went to bed as were both pretty goosed.
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