THANK GOD THAT'S OVER!!!
Okay so we went down to the hotel reception at the agreed time of 2:30pm and waited about 15 mins, then got a text off todays host to say could we get a taxi straight to the hotel and he would meet us there. We weren't happy about it as non of the taxi drivers speak English and usually don't know where we want to go. Anyway, we showed the driver the text off the host showing the hospital name and address and he set off. Next thing we know he is driving around aimlessly and trying to contact the hotel again. Eventually, he got hold of reception who asked if we were happy to pay 50 Turkish Lira. We said fine as we thought that was the total fare. When he 'arrived' at the destination the meter said 65tl so I thought okay its not much over, but he proceeded to explain it was 50tl PLUS the meter 65tl. After loads of arguing and getting the reception on the phone again, it turns out the 50tl is a tariff for going to the other side of Istanbul? We checked with the host when we arrived and he confirmed that was the case.. So the taxi driver dropped us on a street and said it was near here. Well it didn't look like there was a hospital nearby so I rang today s host and tried to explain where we were and sent a pic of the street we were on.
The host advised that we were quite near so it would be easier to get a taxi. Not happy! Eddie was fumin! he's the calmest in a stressful situation lol. Anyway, the next driver took us straight the hospital and our 'film crew' and host were waiting for his (a guy with a camera with a sense on it, not the full production I'm used to lol).
My temporary teeth are doing my head in, not hurting but it feels like they are made of pumice stone or sommat, proper rough. Anyway, I digress, we had a few pics and then were shown up to our 'private rooms' (which later becomes a joke). It looked like a converted ibis hotel room with ensuite and barely room to swing cat. Although as an animal lover, why anyone would want to swing a cat around is beyond me. Inside was the operating table and all the drip stands etc. First thing in pigeon Turkish Sweaty Simon (he stunk of B.O but seemed really nice) asked m to get my zip-up top off and put on the hospital paper gown thing (very fetching). For anyone thinking of having a hair transplant anywhere be sure to only take zip-up hoodies of shirts so you don't have to be dragging anything over your head once its been done.
Next step the took some blood to make sure I didn't have the lurgy or any other diseases, as some surgeons won't operate if you have HIV apparently. They said it takes a couple of mins for the results and so while they are waiting this 'doctor' who looks about 12 come in to draw my hair line. I have to raise my eyebrows a few times as this lets him see where the muscles are and then they draw it and inch or so above them. He asked how old I was to which I replied 46 and a look of what I took to be "omg you don't look it, you look so much younger" came over his face. It could of been a look of 'Jeepers you had a heavy paper round' but I chose to believe the former ;-) Next in came Doctor Wispy (he had new hair that looked kind of thin and wispy) who was obviously there to mange my expectations. He explained due to the amount of baldness they would do the front and top today and then I would need a 2nd visit in about a years time to do the crown and fill out the top. They would make the front denser and then the top would look like I was thinking. Oh great. Not the full afro I was expecting then? Not I already knew this so took it in my stride.
And so as I am then asked to lie face down on the bed with my head through one of them massage table face hole things, I'm guessing I got the germ free all clear. When he said can you lay face down on the bed, I was dying to say "you've not even bought me a drink yet" but I knew it would be wasted on him as they barely understood hello. Just before I lay down the host (who spoke slightly better English) said "this first 5 minutes will be painful, then you won't feel anything". Yeah thanks for that Yigitcan (his name apparently), who will now be known as "yogurt can" as I'll never remember that, just what I wanted to hear.
Okay so I'm face down and the nurse says "anaesthetic" and then proceeds to inject the back of my head. When I say inject JJEEESSSSSUUUSSSS, it was like someone sticking metal bbq skewers all the way in and then pulling them out with a barb on the end as she injected the stuff. She did about 10 of these I think, it could of been more I lost count while trying to go to my happy place. Cos they felt like knitting needles or soma I called her Knitty Nora (I'm no good with names never mind Turkish names). Now I have quite a high pain threshold, cos having tattoos doesn't bother me at all, but these made my toes curl. I thought any minute know she's gonna pull out a slice of pepper and a mushroom to stick on the Neil kebab. Not nice. Anyway once that was over with I couldn't feel anything at the back and my head felt like the size of a pumpkin (thought I'm assured it wasn't). The guy who drew on my hairline with eyeliner (and probably some comedy eyebrows for a laugh) let's call him Tony, sat on a stool near my head and which out his hair harvester. I'm sure it's not called that but it was a kind of drill thing that was hollow in the middle so it drilled down the follicle to create a sort of hair plug. He went like the clappers starting meticulously in one corner of the back of my head and working his was around. Obviously you leak a bit when someone if boring holes in your head, so he was constantly wiping away what I hope was blood and not brain juice.
Throughout all of this people would come and go, ask him what he doing at weekend, mobiles phones would bleep, he had Turkish rock playing out of his phone. I couldn't really feel the 'harvest' until they went a bit near the edges where it wasn't so numb. But even that was okay as it just felt like a Tattoo needle for a few bores then it was back to the numb pumpkin head area.
After a few hours of turning my head into a piece of Swiss cheese, I was asked to sit up. They gave the back of my head a good clean and the put dressing on and taped it down. Next stop, face up with a really uncomfortable rolled up thing in the nape of your neck and it was no to the next stage.
In came Knitty Nora again with more bbq skewers and knitting needles, this time for the top of my head and the front. I don't know how long those needles were but it felt like a javelin pole each time :-/ Once she could stab me with something (I didn't see what) and say "pain?" and get the answer "no" I was ready for stage 2.
Now how can I describe stage 2.... at this stage as I had numb pumpkin head, I could really feel any paid just the sensation of what was happening. The only way I can describe it is, you know when you stab a raw potato with a fork just before you put it in the oven to make a jacket? well that but over and over and over again. It would of been quite therapeutic had it not been that I knew it was my head getting 'forked'. the stage I thought was inserting the har into my head (oh no not yet sunshine). So I lay there for a couple of hours having my head hole punched with this uncomfortable thing in my neck, trying to amuse myself which every now and then needed the loo. Eventually stage 2 was over and I was asked to sit up and they brought me a cheese toastie and some juice. I thought well that wasn't so bad, can't wait to see the results, at which point I had no sooner ate my last mouthful when I was asked to lay back down again. It would seem the jacket potato stage was only creating the whole to put he follicles into. Now they had to put each follicle into a hole one at a time, this is going to be fun. So imagine you have a grain of rice and you have to pick it up with tweezers and stick it vertically into a small hole. Now times that by 3500 and you kind see how long and boring stage 3 is gonna be.
I was lay there for hours, and hours and I couldn't get comfy and the numbness started to wear off, but there was no way I was asking Knitty Nora to come back for round 3 so just lay there counting the grafts. Once it wasn't so numb each graft felt like they were sticking a cocktail stick into one of the holes, Nice. I hope I'm not putting people off with this blog but it's better to get a no-holds-barred viewpoint, than a glossy brochure one lol.
As I could feel it starting to come to the end (the cleaner coming in to mop the toilet was a good sign everyone was ready to go home), I wanted it to be over but at the same time the more he carried on the mo
re I thought I would get better results.
Everything was eventually finished by Midnight, after being lat there for 8 hours! Eddie had finished 2 hours before me but they explained why. They had given me 5000 grafts as opposed to the usual 3500 as I had a good donor area (good to know). I kept hearing Eddie saying "has he finished yet".
Another wipe down and redressed and it was time to go. Got a good bag with some meds inside and a blow-up neck pillow. They advised to sleep on your back and use the pillow so the top of your head didn't touch the bed/headboard. Sweaty Simon took us outside and showed us into a taxi and off we went back to the hotel bandaged up like two idiots lol. Eddie was a bit shaky probably from loss of blood so I mentioned: "well I'm just glad they gave us that toastie and drink or I'd of been passing out". Ooops they didn't give him anything lol. I knew sweaty Simon took a shine to me ;-)
Once back at the hotel it was almost 1am so did the quick obligatory bathroom pics and then it was off to bed on a blow-up neck pillow, oooh can't wait !
Just realised on this pic my head is really swollen below my hair line (prob from Knitty Nora). Can't believe even my forehead has got a muffin top lol. Hopefully, that will do down and my hair will come a bit closer to my bloody face. I always had an Ant McPharlen '5 head' though even when it was mi own.
As you can see from this they haven't done the crown area, that will be next year (if I can bare it again). Might ask to be knocked out if I do.
Comentarios