Today's the day! Thank God today is here I didn't sleep a bloody wink last night. All I could think about was getting my veneers fitted. I stayed awake all night cos I got that really watery mouth thing where your mouth just wants to produce enough saliva to put out an Australian Bush Fire and just won't stop! Part of my plastic temp veneers came out on the bottom revealing my filed down pegs beneath, resembling one of the guest from the Jeremy Kyle show. It was just a small piece at first but then you know what yer tongue's like when there is sommat sharp or untoward in yer mouth, it's gotta be all over that business, so ended up a bit more came out.
Just to clarify these dodgy teeth aren't what I was walking around with prior to coming to Turkey they are the file down pegs as you look at the left hand side. The rest are a rough temp teeth that are rough as as pumice-stone. I love this photo I could just see me on Jeremy Kyle shouting "I DO love yer Kelly, but I love yer mum too and me and yer brother have been having an affair cos I don't believe yer pregnant wiv MY baby"!
Eddie fell asleep and so I put my lamp on and read some of Gary Barlow's autobiography, next time I looked at the clock it was 6am :-/. I managed
to get about an hour until it was time to get up and go for breakfast.
I had some corn flakes but knew they wouldn't last me through hours in the dentist's chair so had some bread with cheese and cucumber. It's hard to enjoy it when you are trying to so all the chewing on the 'good side' of yer mouth so you don't drag any more of yer temp teeth out. If someone would have seen me I would have looked like some demented half man half camel cross-breed, trying to chew with my head to one side. I was just glad that even with the exposed couple of pegs I didn't have any sensitivity. It's a pain like no other when you drink cold water on an exposed nerve. Compares only to walking barefoot and stubbing yer toe into the corner of a bedside table.
Straight after breakfast, Eddie packed his last few bits, and then his taxi came to take him to the airport. That's it I was solo for the last part of this movie. 12:15 pm and I got a text from Sally asking me to get there before 1 pm if I could. Without further ado I was in a taxi and on my way to become one of those people with a smile that could be seen from space. Did I mention I was going White-White? lol
I was hoping I wouldn't regret going for the brightest white they did but I figured having bright white teeth will help me live longer. I've got a lot less chance of being run over if motorists can see my smile a mile down the road lol. Oooohhhhh Guuuurrrrlllll. She's gonna stop traffic! lol
So last look at the old smile. The Purple Eye shadow has now been changed to a lovely shade of brown>>>>>
In the dentist, the first Job was to get this gob numbed up. She gave me a spray around my gums first which made them numb, which I thought was going to be it. When she did the spray she asked me to spit it out but thinking I was clever I gave it a bit of a swish around my mouth first to make double sure mi gums were numb. Trouble if it ended up numbing a lot of my tongue too. All of a sudden I got a bit of a panic on cos I couldn't feel y tongue and it felt really weird/difficult to swallow. Then once I thought about it I got myself more worked up about it and had convinced myself I was having some kind of anaphylactic reaction and was going to choke on my own tongue. Had a sip of water that almost choked me cos I couldn't move mi tongue to send it down the right way. 'Oh go this is it, this is how it all ends, I go through all this and my bloody fat tongue ends up being the death of me'. I can just hear it now 'He would have been here today had he not talked so damn much and enlarged his great big tongue' lol. 'Deep breaths Neil you got this'. Anyway, once I stopped trying to big up my staring role in this movie I got a grip and relaxed as the back of my tongue wasn't so number now. Then she started injecting about 20 areas to make sure I couldn't feel anything. I thought 'Christ how numb do you want me to be'. My lips felt like Jackie Stalone's fat sausage lips but I'm sure just looked normal to everyone else. Just when I had no control whatsoever, Stephen Spielberg tried to resume his interview. I just gestured to my mouth cos there was no chance I was giving my Oscar winning performance while I felt like I'd had a stroke and had completely no control over my face. I couldn't even mutter a Whitty line cos my mouth felt like it was 3 times the size and I couldn't direct my lips enough to form a sentence.
All numbed up it was time to remove the temp teeth. She had this was a kind of hook that she then pressed a button that was another sensation like sticking a collapsable umbrella near your mouth and then pressing the release button, BANG! Each whack loosened a chunk of the pumice-stone grill and all the while I'm trying to flick the pieces out with my oversized, elephant tongue so the bits didn't go down my throat and choke me. 'Saved from tongue death but the pumice-stone grill got him in the end'. It seemed a bit of a mission to get the temp stuff out, and I couldn't help think I could have got a head start on this last night and put mi tongue to work wriggling it out.
Eventually, all the debris was off and I made an attempt to rinse my mouth. It was more a case of pouring the water in one side of my mouth as it flooded out the other. I could barely feel if the plastic cup was touching my balloon lips never mind having the dexterity to be able to swill anything.
Head back and it was time to check the veneers fitted. She wiggled each one into place which was easy on the bottom ones but when she was trying to do the top I had to keep closing my mouth to stop the top ones from falling down. I was like a very dangerous game of Kerplunk. I just kept thinking 'I've got my bloody head back here if one of them slips off and I swallow it I ain't waiting 24 hours for it to make it's way back out'. Besides which I'm not sure I would fancy a veneer in my gob that's already made its way through my bowel.
Once she had checked they could al fit it was time to make sure my 'bite' was right, This is going to be fun. She kept saying 'Open' Then she'd ut some strip of blue carbon paper thing in-between my teeth. Then she'd say 'Close' and grab it out through my teeth. I'm no expert but I suspect this is to see where the teeth touch? All this party game went on for while cos I have got the oddest jaw ever! My top and bottom jaws don't really meet up properly in one place, it's like my bottom Jaw isn't sure where to sit so just kind swaps seats every time I close my mouth. This had her baffled and I'm sure she gave up in the end and thought 'Okay I'm here to fix his teeth not this dodgy Jaw'. At one point she gestured if I had been punched in the jaw. At least I think she was asking that, she might of been saying, "if you don't line yer frigging jaws up I gonna knock you out mate!".
Next step was to cement his smile in place which was quite quick apart from she had to make sure after each tooth being fitted that she could floss between each tooth. One particular one was not playing ball, there must of been a bit of cement in the gab so each time she tried pushing floss down it just snapped the floss. She wasn't giving up though, she tried threading it in at the bottom and pulling it up through the gap but that still shaped the floss. The assistant was pushing the veneers down so she didn't pull them out while she tried getting this floss to work. I had visions of her standing both feet on my bottom jaw and yanking this floss back flinging the full set flying out the window (I have a vivid imagination lol). Eventually, PING the piece of stubborn cement came flying out and she was able to floss between the two teeth. I mimed a victory trophy being held aloft above my head (like I know about sports trophies lol). The nearest I got was a learner's certificate for swimming a length of the pool in my Paddington Bear pajamas.
Eventually, my new nashers were all in place and she gave them a quick buff up and then presented me with one of them handheld Cinderella mirrors. I wasn't sure if I was meant to cry at this point but Steven Spielberg was on a break so I thought 'Save them tears Neil you might need em later and you don't know if these new eyelids can handle a re-take'.
I nodded approvingly and smiled. I say smile, I still hadn't gained full control of my lips so my bottom lip only moved on the right so I looked Like Rocky when he was shouting "Adrienne" after being beaten to a pulp at the end of the film.
Next, it was time for the photos shoot for their Gallery. They put two of those plastic things in my mouth that open your mouth really wide. The ones we have just released in the UK as part of a party game. While they were in I tried to say 'Do you want me to sing a song?' but I couldn't get the words out. Anyway, the photos went on for a little bit longer than I was expecting. I must be the first idiot to go for Simon Cowell white so they wanted to make sure they got plenty. At one point the dentist was taking the pics while the assistant was dragging my mouth out the way with this plastic guard and trying to pull my bottom lip down to stop the Sylvester Stalone lopsided smile. Probably not my finest moment in my modeling career lol. I can hear people saying 'modelling career?" Yes I used to model shoes and gloves lol. I could have been big in Cuban heals I was told. :-)
Once they got their pics I was off in a taxi back to the hotel. I took a couple of painkillers ready for when the numbness wore off and got into bed for a few hours.
SO, I'm not going to put picture of the finished result on here yet. My mouth is still all numb so I don't wanna be doing another Sly Stallone impression SOOOOoooo what I have decided to do is a LIVE Youtube Reveal tomorrow lol.
Okay so it's just for fun cos I am going to be sat in my hotel room on my own I thought I would try and do a live Youtube video so I can show you my new teeth at the same time lol. It will be 11pm here in Turkey but 8pm sun the UK so most people will be home from work. If you would like to take part (it might not even work), please subscribe to my Youtube channel
Oh and be logged in just before 8pm UK time. It's only for fun and I don't expect a lot of viewers but I thought why not lol. You can also see
the progress on my hair transplant and my upper eyelid excess skin removal. I'l be shocked if it works and I might be sat talking to myself lol.
That's it from me today, Hopefully, see you tomorrow at 7 pm UK time ;-)
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