Met in reception at 8:20 with the next host Saliha, we’ll call her Sally. A lovely girl called Kate joined us as she was having a boob job. She is originally from New Zealand but now lives in the UK. She is only slight so was opting for a C cup. She’s flying back to see family on Saturday and they don’t know she’s having it done lol.
We both got checked in together and signed our lives away. We didn’t read any of the paperwork and could have been agreeing to donate a kidney or anything.
Up to our rooms and we are in a corner next to each other which will be handy as I can check in here after her Op to make sure she’s okay and see if she needs anything. It’s hard when nobody speaks even a little English. There was a bit of a drama Cos I’d left my bloody phone in the hotel room and so wouldn’t be able to keep Eddie posted. Anyway, they managed to ring the hotel and pass a message on and Eddie said he would bring it when he came to visit later as I’d be in overnight.
No sooner was I in my room than a nurse Sofiba (Sophie) came and handed me a black gown to get changed into. One of them really flattering hospital ones that let’s yer arse hang out the back. I possibly should have checked the blinds behind me were closed before giving half the street a moulin rouge show but hey ho I aim to please. Sophie was only young and very smiley, her ID photo looked more glamorous than most of my profile pictures. I told her this in the usual way you communicate when you don’t speak the language. A mix between ‘charades style’ and ‘the art of dance’. She seemed to get the general gist of it anyway.
Next Sophie took some blood and I hopped on the scales. She took a sharp intake of breath which I took to mean ‘ooh you weigh so little for such a big personality and not ‘you might wanna change the Operation to Lipo, fatty!’ Hopefully, the kilos were different over here what with the exchange rate and everything. ;-)
Soon after the surgeon walked in, I say walked he practically glided in like he was on casters. He was in his late 50s and looked like a stunt double for David Guest. He had a marker-pen drawn on looking hairline that was far too perfect, dyed black hair, eyes pulled back for days and a set of teeth so big they almost went around the back. I thought ‘someone’s been taking advantage of the family and friends discount’. I didn’t catch his name, we’ll call him David.
He then proceeded to take photos of me and then pulled on the skin on my upper eyelids, which clearly took about half an hour to spring back, and said ‘Yes you need this’. I thought ‘thanks for the support sister, you need to lay off the perks of the job but let’s not get picky’. Anyway leaving my hopes of supermodel stardom dashed, out he glided.
When nurse Sophie took my blood she put a cannula in and was back a few minutes later putting some pre-med sedative thing in. Next, I’m jumping onto another bed and wheeled towards the theatre, probably flashin my less than designer boxers to all who wanted a peek (I’m sure it was a very short queue).
In theatre, another liquid was put in my cannula, and away I was. Woke up what felt like a minute later with a doctor taping a kind of blindfold bandage over my eyes. I thought ‘ooohhh they must do the big reveal back at mi room’ but no it was just Cos I had to lay for 3 hours with a load of ice over my eyes to keep the swelling down. As soon as I was in my room I heard a voice (could have been Sophie it’s hard to tell with your eyes shut). She said ‘Pain?’ Which I took to mean was I in any rather than did I want some. So I said ‘yes ‘ Cos I was taking no chances, it was already tingling. Next, she pops in some pain meds in my arm. Same in another couple of hours, I thought in for a penny in for a pound so had some more. I always think the best way not to feel pain after an op is to start on the meds straight away Cos by the time they stop offering em yer, you are probably over the worst of it anyway.
I’d just got settled and in came meals on wheels. The tray was huge with a big lid covering the delights beneath. When Tasha (she had bad facial hair) lifted the lid in a style befitting of a Tadaarrr fanfare I found it hard to hide my facial expression of being extremely underwhelmed. That reminds me, you can be under-whelmed and over-whelmed, but are you ever just Whelmed? I digress, I know yer all on the edge of your seats to know what was under the lid. A large plate with an artistic swirl of mashed potato and nothing else on the plate. A small bowl of what looked like soup. It was a warm white milky-looking liquid and tasted of mint. Baxter’s pea and ham it was not! And finally for dessert was a bowl containing what I can only describe as a preserved testicle floating in a clear liquid. Anyway, I’ll try most things so ate the mash, passed on the mint milk soup then and ate the testicle (well it is bush tucker trial season after all). Turns out it was a kind of preserved apricot thing in fruit juice. I was just glad of a drink of anything so that was welcomed with open arms.
Unfortunately, I was a little woozy after surgery so forgot to take a picture of this Masterchef finale platter.
Shortly after getting comfy, I fell asleep and at some point must have removed the makeshift ice pack. This was a surgical glove with some ice cubes in. It had clearly melted and I’d rolled onto it forcing out all the water and the bed was soaked. Try miming that out without someone shouting for security. I did my best trying my hardest not to gesticulate having a wee or flashing my very dry boxers as proof I hadn’t pee’d. She understood and went a got a fresh sheet.
Back to napping and then Eddie arrived with my phone and his travel adapter. He even nipped out to the shop in the pouring rain bless him. He got me some crisps, chocolate, and a drink as I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink after midnight last night and it was now about 5 pm.
Not quite sure why Eddie looks like he's missing a chromosome on this pic, I must have caught him unawares lol.
Eddie stayed until about 9pm and then headed back to the hotel.
I nipped in to check on Katie and she seemed a bit groggy and in pain. I told her to just shout if she needed me to grab her anything and hooked the bed controls where she could reach them so she could at least sit herself up without putting any pressure in the chest.
I was STARVING so next time Sophie came in to take my blood pressure I gave her the old ‘eating a sandwich mime’ and she gave me a wink and said OK. (I’ve still got it ;-) ) lol
Get a load of this feast. when yer starving that's exactly what it feels like, a bloody feast >>>>>
Other OP’s update, the pumice-stone grill is being gradually worn away by my constant rubbing it with my tongue. I’m so over it now and want my actual veneers in now. The head is now a nice hard crush on top with spikes sticking out. The back or top is no longer sore. I can’t wait for the itching phase as it starts healing :-/
Went to bed at about 12am, the more sleep I get more time my body has to heal.
Comentários