Bye Bye Bonnie

Well, today has got to be one of the hardest days I've had to go through. I've said farewell to lots of friends and family and as upsetting as it is, I always know that it's inevitable and we are all going to pass away at some point. In most cases though (unless they are on a life support machine) you don't have to make the decision to end their life, they kind of just pass away for whatever reason and the choice isn't yours.

The difficult thing with a pet is that they can't tell you how they are feeling or if they are in pain, could eat a specific thing, etc so you don't know how to help. There is always that horrible feeling that you are ending their life and could be making the wrong call.

Mum stayed at mine last night so that she could be here for today with Bonnie. I spent last night downstairs with her and swapped between sleeping on the sofa and sleeping on the floor next to her. She didn't move all night and still wouldn't eat no matter what foods we tried to tempt her with. I managed to get her to drink some water by putting the bowl in front of her and holding it to her mouth bless her.

Kirsty managed to get here just in time for when the vet arrived. He was a really nice guy I think he is Katja's husband. He explained what would happen and that he would give her some pain relief and sedation first so that she is as comfortable as she can. He also confirmed what I think I already knew, that it was the right time for her and she was ready. Bella stayed in the room with us as I think it's important to know what's going on and see her once she has passed away so that she isn't confused and looking for her around the house.

He gave her two lots of sedation as her blood pressure was so low it wasn't pumping it around her body very quickly. She just looked really sleepy and had no energy to even sit up or anything. After two lots of sedation, he gave her the injection to put her to sleep and within a few seconds confirmed that her heart had stopped and she had passed away.

I have never been so upset about any passing before but I know it was the right thing to do for her as she couldn't even get up to go the loo or anything she was so weak and wasn't eating. I am just going to find comfort in the fact that I had 12 amazing years of company with her and gave her the best life I could. If there is an after life hopefully my dad was there to meet her and he has his baby girl back again to keep him company.

Goodnight Bonnie and thank you for being my best friend x