As soon as I woke up I was thinking about Bali and getting it booked. As it happens I had just finished my coffee when I got a phone call from Virgin Credit card to query the two transactions I tried to make last night. Apparently, they have been getting a lot of scams through which people have received emails and been duped into entering their credit card details for holidays that don't exist. Lastminute.com was one of the ones that has been flagged so the minute I tried to book that one my card was blocked which then stopped me doing the other booking.
Anyhoo I got them to lift the while I got our flights booked. I am booking both on my credit card because I get Virgin miles on my spend so I'm trying to build them up to get enough to book myself somewhere long haul with an upgrade to first-class or business as it's something I've always wanted to experience. I know I won't have enough for 2 seats anytime soon, so will just book a little break for myself somewhere maybe.
I booked mine and then as I had Layla's details and couldn't get hold of her I booked hers too. That's it, we are confirmed to go to Bali. Wooooo I can't wait. That's another thing on my 'Life List' that I will be able to cross off this year. I spoke to her soon after it was all booked and she transferred her flight money so I could pay it straight off my card.
Just to take the shine of things though, mum rang me all upset because she still hadn't heard from Kirsty and the last sighting of her was leaving a guy's house up the road from mi mum and being dropped off on Lees road in a taxi. That's up near where she lives but Zoe hasn't seen her at the house and there has been an incident on their street with a house taped off, so obviously, mum is worried to death and wants to phone the police when I get to hers. Se has already rung the hospital and she isn't there.
The thing is with these sort of situations with Kirsty is because mum has been through so many shit situations with Kirsty she also now tends to overreact. In a normal situation if you hadn't heard from someone for a few days it wouldn't be a big deal, but with Kirsty, she has gotten herself in some right messes and only for my mum getting a bad feeling about something and tracking her down would she have found out and in some instances saved her life. The problem with that now though is mum tends to go into full-on panic mode more times than is necessary and if she can't get hold of her instead of thinking about it rationally, she is already planning her outfit for the Crimewatch reconstruction. If I didn't have anything to do with it then I wouldn't be so bothered but she gets herself all worked up then rings me and start to panic me and cause me stress. Anyway, so that I wasn't sitting waiting for Rachel and doing nothing if mum felt so concerned about Kirsty I decided the best way to reach out to people was to put a 'missing post' on Facebook in the hope that the last person to see her would get in touch etc.
So to cut a very long and drawn-out story short, by the time I got home from Rachels, mum had reported Kirsty as a missing vulnerable adult to the police (due to her brain injury and not having her meds for 3 days). We had managed to track down Graham (man across the road last to have seen her) who said she was last seen being dropped off in a taxi on Lees road, which is near where she lives. The problem is she doesn't have a key to her house, Zoe has it. By about 6pm Kirst had managed to contact mum explaining she had not been able to charge her phone as the charging port wasn't working properly and didn't know what all the fuss was about. She said she was setting off to mums and to stop panicing. As of 10:30pm when I am typing this she had not arrived home which suggests to me one of two things, she is either still drunk/high and doesn't want mum to see her looking a mess or b) she's been in a fight and has cuts or bruises and doesn't want mum to see them. Either way, I doubt she will go back to mums tonight.
Before last week when she was staying at mine and I had seen how she drinks EVERY day/night and then this whole weekend thing, I had considered letting Kirsty stay at mine until she got a new property sorted of her own. I have now decided that is NOT a good thing and will only end up affecting my mental health so I am just going to leave her to her own devices and to sort things out for herself. Mum will probably let her stay at hers as she will do what she always does and bail her out of any mess or trouble she gets herself in. I have said if she wants to do that then that is on her but from this point on any drama does not fall on my shoulders to deal with. I don't want to know when she hasn't been home or rocks up steaming etc, as I am washing my hands of it all. I genuinely thought she has turned a corner but spending last week with her has made me realise until she gets clean and sober nothing is going to change. I love her to bits when she isn't drunk but she is like a completely different person as soon as she has a drink and I'm not dealing with it. It's taken me years of working on myself to get to an almost good place where I am happy and I can't take on other peoples drama that will just bring me down again.
My mum has been on this merry-go-round with Kirsty for as long as I can remember and I have tried to tell her that she isn't helping the situation by keep making excuses for her and bailing her out. At some point, she needs to leave her to it and let her sort her own mess out. Her approach hasn't worked in all these years so to keep doing the same thing over and over is just madness. My advice falls on deaf ears so I am just going to tell her she needs to keep me out of anything in the future as I've just had enough. Kirsty is very good at telling me what she thinks I want to hear so I think she is no longer the person she used to be, but then the minute you let your guard down she goes back to her old ways.
Life is hard enough as it is and If I only had my own problems to think about I probably wouldn't have ended up with depression. The combination of having to constantly be there for both Mum and Kirsty is just too much. So I'm not staying on this ride, Kirsty is 44 now so is a grown woman, she needs to start taking responsibility for her own life.
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